Stages of Grief

Denial

“Jafar’s not really dead.”

Abu wasn’t listening out for this stuff- he didn’t care what that stupid parrot had to say- but Iago was audible, to put it politely.

Aladdin’s answer, however, was too low to hear. The kid had a good heart. Too good, and too easily swindled by a scheming bird- so Abu gave up the beetle he was chasing and moved along the balcony railing to get closer to the open window.

(Railings were such a weird human concept- imagine being so clumsy that you needed to invent something to grab, just to keep from falling!)

“You don’t know ‘im like I do!” Iago’s voice, though certainly loud enough, and not made any more pleasant by getting closer to it, was slightly slurred. “I’m telling you, he’s not dead.”

Oh, Jafar was very dead. There was nothing left but a sprinkle of ex-genie dust. What was Iago’s angle with this?

“I guess you fainted and didn’t see what happened,” Aladdin said. “He died when you kicked his lamp off of that rock.” For a street kid, Aladdin could be pretty naive. It was why he needed Abu.

“He’s not coming back, Iago,” the princess said quietly. “Try to rest.”

She didn’t have to be that nice to him- he wasn’t gonna die. Genies couldn’t kill anyone. Being able to inflict injuries that would later get worse and kill the sufferer would be too big of a loophole.

Then again, that rule presumably applied to humans. Iago wasn’t a person. Neither Aladdin nor the princess seemed to have thought of that part.

“I am resting,” the bird said. “I can rest and talk at the same time. Now, look here-” He broke off and started coughing.

“I’m going to try to find someone working in the menagerie who knows something about birds,” said Jasmine.

“Oh, no, don’t go and do that- I hate the vet,” Iago whined.

“You just stay here with Aladdin, okay?”

Abu heard her dainty little footsteps prancing out of the room. And now she’d just left Aladdin alone with that feathery backstabber- great.

He peeked in through the window. Aladdin was sitting next to the table they’d dumped the bird on. His knee was bouncing nervously.

“Oh, now it’s just awkward,” Iago said. “Look, it’s fine. Let’s not talk.” He covered his face with the wing that wasn’t bandaged.

There was no way he was actually going to keep his mouth shut.

Alright... someone was going to have to do something about this. Abu ran through the window, into the room and up his boy’s arm to sit on Aladdin’s shoulder.

“Hey there, Abu! Where have you been?” Aladdin asked, scratching under his chin.

“Here and there,” Abu said, though obviously Aladdin could not understand him. He never knew why humans asked him questions that demanded more than a yes or no answer, knowing Abu couldn’t make the sounds for human words beyond simple stuff like ‘uh oh’.

He glanced over at the parrot. Iago was a wilted pile of feathers spread out on a pillow- hey! Abu liked to sit on that pillow. Now it would have bird blood on it.

“I’m still keeping an eye on you, you glorified pigeon,” Abu said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Iago croaked.

Abu jumped a little bit, despite himself. He had forgotten that Iago could understand animal speech even though he talked like a human.

He could say what he wanted to, then. And Aladdin wouldn’t ‘translate’ it into something nice.

“I don’t know what this stuff is about Jafar,” Abu said. “But if you ever try to con Aladdin again, I’ll throw you into lava.”

“Look, let me tell ya about Jafar,” Iago said, still with his face covered. “Jafar would never go down that easy. You’d better listen.”

“I wouldn’t say he went down easy,” Aladdin said. He took Abu into his hands, scratching behind his ears in the spot he liked. “Be nice to him, Abu. He’s delirious.”

Knowing Aladdin could not understand him, Abu said: “Fine. I’ll be nice to him as long as he doesn’t try anything. For you, not for him.” He glared at the parrot, who was now just lying there with his soft feathery chest heaving up and down- not challenging the suggestion that he was delirious. It probably worked to his benefit.

“You sure can pick ‘em, Aladdin,” Abu said. “At least the princess has a palace. This bird is just trouble.”

Iago sighed. “Fine... don’t believe me.”

That was the first good advice he’d ever given.

Anger

“Jafar this. Jafar that. Who cares about that chump Jafar?”

Abu sat up, blinking. He’d been having a perfectly nice nap, and now- screeching parrot. He was gonna make that bird wish a monkey had eaten him while he was still in the egg.

He looked around to get his bearings. The princess had come into the room while he was asleep. She was standing by the table, where Iago was tearing at something with his beak- he’d made it into an unrecognizable mush, but it had most likely started off as some kind of fruit.

Jasmine’s voice was calm but firm. “I need to know how long he was plotting against us while he was acting as counsel to my father. I’m going to be the co-ruler of Agrabah someday, and I need to be prepared.”

“Yeah, you do. You and that Aladdin. You’re soft. Well, he was planning it for years! Ever since he got the job! Are you happy now?”

“How did he pull the wool over all our eyes?”

“I don’t know, you’d have to ask him! And you can’t! Because he’s dead!”

Iago snatched up an almond from the dish next to the fruit bowl, cracked it open in his beak with a sharp, splintering crack, and tossed it down onto the table without eating it.

Wow. Abu could not do that- at least, not without a lot of effort and perfectly shaped rocks. And the parrot didn’t seem too interested in the opened almond...

Abu sidled up to claim the abandoned nut.

“Why are you so angry at me?” Jasmine asked, her face impassive, her arms folded over her chest.

Iago turned to peer at her with his angry yellow birdy eyes. “I ain’t mad at you. I get ticked off when we talk Jafar. You know he never apologized to me for dragging me into his genie lamp? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not a genie! He coulda killed me!”
“I see,” said Jasmine.

“Instead he made things out like they were my fault!” Iago grabbed another almond, cracked it, and threw it down. Abu snatched it up. “Did you hear the words ‘I wish to be an all powerful genie’ comin’ out of my beak? No!”

“You want an apology,” Jasmine said sweetly.

“I dug his stupid lamp up out of the Cave of Wonders all by myself and did he ever thank me? No! Never!”

“How rude of him not to say thank you after you pulled him up to the surface where he could go back to his reign of terror.”

“Yeah, can you believe-” Iago’s head snapped up. “Oh, you’re good.” He turned away, grabbing another nut. “Okay, so that was on me.” He spread his wings, scowling. “What else was I supposed to do- stay in a lamp forever?”

“No, I guess not,” said Jasmine.

“I can’t even give him a piece of my mind!” Iago popped the nut into his break and crunched it open. “Go long, monkey.” He threw the opened almond at Abu, who deftly caught it, of course.

“I didn’t think you were paying attention to me,” said Abu.

“Yeah. Nobody thinks I’m paying attention.”

“The princess never got an apology either,” Abu pointed out.

Iago’s feathers fluffed up around his head. “Hey, yeah! She didn’t! And after Jafar did that thing with the red bikini and everything-”

“I meant from you, jerk!”

Iago finally, blessedly, shut up.

“You can understand him?” Jasmine asked.

“Of course I can,” said Abu, though he knew she wasn’t talking to him.

Iago turned to her. “Yeah. You can’t understand the monkey?”

Jasmine blinked. “No, actually. I wish I could.”

“He just sounds like anyone else to me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Do you want me to translate?”

“Don’t you dare,” said Abu. He didn’t trust Iago not to put words in his mouth.

“Never mind, he says not to,” said Iago. He picked up another almond, but instead of cracking it he just started listlessly picking at it. “I’m sorry,” he said in a childish whine.

Jasmine leaned in closer. “For not translating for Abu?”

“For scheming to ruin you and make Jafar sultan! Okay, I said it!”

Jasmine looked surprised. “Why, thank you.”

“Thank the monkey.”

“Thank you, Abu.”

“Aw, go on,” said Abu, waving a paw at her. The princess wasn’t so bad, really. It was stupid that Aladdin kept giving her all the good loot as presents, but that wasn’t her fault. “Are you gonna crack that nut or just keep playing with it?” he asked the parrot.

Iago picked up the almond, cracked the shell and tossed it at Abu. “Anything else you want to know, princess?” he asked Jasmine.

“Why were you so angry at my father?”

“He force-fed me crackers and treated me like a dumb animal!”

“We all thought you were a dumb animal,” Jasmine pointed out.

Iago started to pace back and forth. “Of course you did! Jafar made me pretend I was one! I should’ve just- ARGH! If he was here I’d-”

He picked up another nut.

“I’m full,” Abu said, “no thanks.”

Iago cracked the almond’s shell anyway, and just threw the opened nut down onto the table. “All of that was his fault! All Jafar had to say was ‘don’t do that, my parrot hates crackers’. Just once. He didn’t say that even once! Did he like seeing me suffer?”

“He might have liked to see you suffer,” said Jasmine. “He was a sadist.”

“And you had to kiss him,” Iago said. He shuddered. “I don’t envy you there.”

“And I had to see it,” Abu added. “Eyugh.”

Jasmine leaned her elbows on the table. “It’s over now. He can’t do anything to anyone.”

“Yeah.” Iago didn’t look cheered by that. Maybe he didn’t get happy about anything but money. If so, Abu couldn’t really fault him on that one.

“Now, are you going to eat anything?” Jasmine asked gently. “Or are you just going to make a mess?”

“Huh?”

“You haven’t eaten anything today.” She pushed some grapes towards the bird.

“I’m not hungry,” he said. “Well, maybe just one.” He started picking at the grapes.

Everyone was too nice to that bird.

Bargaining

Genie peered down at the chess pieces.

Carpet looked pretty confident, and Abu had never seen him lose a game of chess. He’d put money on him if there was anyone to bet with.

A soft fluttering sound came from behind him. Abu had gotten into a habit of rolling his eyes when he heard a bird flapping its wings.

Iago landed next to Abu. “Hey, guys,” he said, in an uneasily friendly tone.

“Ah ah ah,” said the Genie, holding up one hand. “This requires my full concentration.”

“Oh, of course. Don’t mind me.” Abu counted to four before the bird piped up again: “So, not raising the dead. Is that a hard and fast rule, or?...”

Genie looked up at him. “Iago,” he said calmly, “whatever you’re thinking, it’s for the birds.”

Iago winced. “Wow, I’ve never... heard that one before.”

“Well, I try,” shrugged the Genie, “but they don’t all land.”

“Right.”

“Not every joke has wings.”

“Uh huh.”

“Some ideas just don’t take flight.”

“Uh,” said Iago, “here’s the thing, see, uh- when I said I hadn’t heard that one before, I really meant I’ve heard all of them before. You know, egghead, bird brain, flighty...”

“Chicken,” Abu said.

“Hush, you.”

“So,” said Genie, “what plan are you hatching, anyway?”

“I-” Iago stopped for a moment and looked beseechingly at the ceiling before continuing. “What if I just wanted to talk to someone who’s dead?”

“You’re in luck, buddy, I can help you!”

“Really? You can?”

“Turn around,” said Genie, “what do you see?”

Iago peered over his shoulder. “The window.”

“And what do you see through the window?”

“The stars?”

“The great kings of the past are up there. Stare at them long enough and you just might hear something. Discontinue immediately if you hear something that tells you to lock anyone in your basement.” Genie turned back to the chessboard, grabbed a piece and made a sweeping motion with it. “Cheeeck!”

Carpet moved a piece over by one square.

“Oh, no way!” the Genie yelled. “Checked in and checked out!”

Iago was sidling up to Abu. He always gave up and left a little while if Abu didn’t make eye contact, so he just turned away.

He’d almost forgotten the parrot was there when a voice muttered in his ear: “Five bucks says the rug wins.”

“Get away from me,” Abu said.

“Geez! Fine, I know when I’m not wanted.” Iago turned away and hopped off of the windowsill.

Depression

Ah. Of course Abu would run into the bird right when he’d given up looking for him.

Iago was perching on the balcony handrail, facing away from the palace and towards the city. Abu went closer. That dumb feather-head was gonna catch it for making the humans worry.

“You really were quite a good henchman, Iago. I never properly appreciated you when I was alive.”

Abu ran up the wall to cling to a windowsill. That was Jafar’s voice! That deep, snooty, cold evil voice!

“I know you didn’t,” Iago said.

Both voices were coming from the same spot- the balcony railing.

“Why, I never even thanked you for digging me out of the sand,” said Jafar’s voice. Abu didn’t see Jafar anywhere- just an empty balcony.

“No, you didn’t,” Iago replied, sounding subdued. For him.

“I’ve changed my mind about the whole evil takeover gig. Perhaps I shall even go and make nice with the street rat.”

“The kid has a name, you know.”

“And why should I care? He foiled my plans!”

“This isn’t really going to work, is it, Jafar?” Iago sighed.

Abu crept closer. He still didn’t see any sign of Jafar.

“Oh, hi, monkey,” Iago said, turning away.

“What the heck was that?” Abu demanded.

“What was what?”

“Jafar!”

“Oh, that? Oh, you heard that!” Iago stretched out his wings and re-folded them. “Yeah, I do voices. I’m great at parties.” In the Sultan’s voice he said: “Get off the sofa, Abu, or I’ll issue an edict or something!”

“That’s creepy,” Abu said.

“I’m a parrot, we parrot. It’s a verb and a noun.”

“I don’t like it. You know, the humans are looking for you.”

“They are?” Iago peered at him. “Am I in trouble?”

“Probably.”

“But I didn’t even steal anything today!”

“They haven’t seen you in a while.” As an afterthought Abu added: “They think Rajah ate you.”

“What, is that it? Can’t a bird get some privacy?”

Abu shrugged. He hadn’t kept track of how long Iago had been gone for. Maybe the humans were overreacting, maybe they weren’t. “You do get in trouble a lot,” he said.

“Define ‘a lot’.”

“Every day.”

“Not every day!” Iago shook his head. “I’m just going to stay out here a little while. You tell ‘em I’m fine.”

“I can’t speak human!”

Iago looked surprised, and said: “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

“Just go back inside, or I’ll drag you in.”

“You want me to get in trouble that bad, huh?”

Abu made a grab for him, but Iago hopped away and flew to the other end of the balcony, spitting: “Back off, monkey!”

Abu could probably win this fight- Iago got out of breath really fast. He crept closer.

“I said back off! I don’t want to talk to anybody. Why should I have to talk to anybody? It’s none of your business!”

There was a tone in his voice that Abu hadn’t heard from the loudmouth bird before. He sat down on his haunches. “Are you sad?”

“What?” Iago snapped. “I don’t get sad. I don’t do the whole feelings thing.”

“You miss Jafar!” Abu realized. “You were pretending to talk to him because you miss him.”

“That is untrue,” said Iago, drawing himself up to his full height of about twelve inches. “That is a lie and not true.”

“Of course you miss your human!” Abu insisted. “What kind of upside-down stupid bird world do you live in that you wouldn’t miss your human?”

“I-” Iago hunkered down into a blob of feathers.

“How long was he your human?” Abu asked.

“Geez! Forever. You probably weren’t even hatched yet when I got bought by Jafar.”

“Wow! You must be really old.”

“Watch it.” Iago turned away to look out at the city. He was just sitting there, and looked lost in thought- not paying attention at all. Abu could grab him and drag him inside.

Abu sat and waited.

The parrot started to talk. “People are gonna get the wrong idea. If I start talking about Jafar too much, the next thing it’s gonna be ‘oh, here we go, schemin’ Iago wants to try to take over the kingdom again’. It’s nothing like that, it’s just... I dunno what’s wrong with me. I’ll see something and I think, ‘what would Jafar think about that?’ Or, ‘Jafar would like this’, or ‘Jafar would hate that.’” He raised and dropped his wings in a weak shrug. “But then Jafar’s not there. And then I remember I’m why he ain’t there. And then I remember why I’m why he ain’t there. And I guess that kinda brings out my anti-social side.”

Abu had tuned out part of that, but it was obvious what was going on here. “You definitely miss him.”

“Of course not!” Iago scoffed. “I think about never seein’ Jafar again, and I feel kinda bad about it. That’s all. I do not miss him.”

Abu found that he was imagining a world without Aladdin, despite himself. It would be awful. Oh, Abu would get along all right. He wasn’t a pet or anything. And without Aladdin there’d be no one to tell him not to pick pockets. But, boy... it would be lonely. Sure, Jasmine, Carpet and the Genie would still be there, but without Aladdin...

“You can mope. I’ll distract Aladdin and the princess so they don’t come bother you,” said Abu.

Iago turned to stare at him. “You’d do that for me?”

Abu shrugged. “Not every time.”

Iago looked back out at the city for a moment.

He shook out his feathers. “Nah, I’m done moping. I’ll go back in.”

And then he tapped Abu on the back with his wing, the way a human would slap another human on the back. Iago had a voice like nails on a chalkboard and a personality that matched, but his feathers were soft- the touch of his wing was like being tapped with a pillow.

The wing had been withdrawn before Abu could react.

“It was an interesting talk, monkey.”

As usual, mostly Iago had talked and Abu had wished Iago would stop talking. “Sure,” he said.

The bird flew back inside, and Abu swung from the handrail. It was a good thing Aladdin would probably live forever.

A beetle was crawling along the railing. Abu chased after it.