Chapter 12: Reunions and Introductions

"Sméagol is tired and sore," he groused.

Eardwulf or Faelon would have taken that as the polite hint that it was that he wanted to be carried, but the Man leading him around today was a near stranger, and seemed nervous. Actually, it seemed likely that if he tried to pick Gollum up, he might recoil at the cool, moist feel of his skin (offensive!) or try picking him up around the waist (intolerable!) or even drop him (shameful!), or at least, fail to be mindful of the bruising that still troubled his back- and thus, Gollum would not directly ask to be carried. If his hints were not taken, he would leave it at that.

The nervous Man led him to the usual room where he met with Boromir. Boromir was there already, and so was another Man who from the resemblance between them must be his brother. Gollum clambered up into the seat across from them and sat there in a lazy tangle of limbs.

"The creature Sméagol, as you have requested, my lords," said the Man who had led him here, looking stiff and uncomfortable.

"Greetings," said Boromir with an inclination of his head.

"Hello, hello," Gollum said, considering Boromir's brother, a calm, unruffled sort, clean and neatly groomed. He did not seem bothered at all by Gollum's presence, or the look of his thin face, or even his webbed feet.

"You may go if you wish," Faramir said to the servant who had fetched Gollum. "We don't know how long we will be speaking to him and you need not wait."

"I knows the way back myself," Gollum confided, as the servant scurried away- "since we've been here so much. No one needs to take us at all, but no one likes us to go about by ourselfs, they don't, although we went off in their City and didn't hurt anything. No, not a thing, precious."

"Except a robber, I have heard," said the calm Man.

"Yes, yes," said Gollum, "that- but they told us it was alright, the Men started it. They jumped us, they did." He settled into a more comfortable position. "Master told us it was alright. The Ring-bearer," he clarified, in case the Man did not know whom he meant by 'Master'- although something about the term 'Ring-bearer' unsettled him.

"They jumped you, you say?" Faramir asked.

"Yes, yes," said Gollum. "We went up to them, right up, because everyone else was nice to us, but they jumped us!" He whimpered.

"No doubt that displeased you. Is it fair to suggest that you would deal with anyone who 'jumped' you in like manner?"

"I-" Gollum fell silent. He felt a sudden, strong impression that there would be swift and immediate consequences to any lie he told, even a polite one.

But that is how I talks to people, he thought, with a glance at Faramir's gaze and a shudder.

"It is a simple question," said Faramir.

"None judge you for defending yourself against those who would harm you," Boromir interjected.

"Yes," said Gollum, squirming and fidgeting, "if someone jumps us we bites them. I cannot always help it, no."

"You cannot help it, you say?" Faramir asked.

"Not always. I gets scared, sometimes, I- they are so much bigger than I am!"

"That is so," said Boromir. "You have not been formally introduced- this is my brother, Lord Faramir, the Steward of Gondor. Faramir, this is Sméagol, of the Anduin."

"We have met before," said Faramir.

"Perhaps. But perhaps it was not quite the same creature."

"Perhaps not entirely. That is what I am here to judge, after all. Does it surprise you to hear we have met before, Sméagol? You do not show any recognition of me."

There might have been something familiar, after all, in Faramir's unruffled manner, but perhaps it was only how much he looked like his brother. And a bit like Aragorn. And a bit like Gandalf, somehow. Maybe it was only the air of someone that did not trust Gollum that they had in common.

"We recognize him," he said, feigning surprise.

"Where do you know me from?" Faramir asked.

"Boromir," said Gollum. The brothers did not react, and he continued with the inevitable loss of confidence that comes from a joke not understood: "They looks just alike, they do."

"Is that so," said Boromir. "But then you told me that all Men look alike to you."

"Yes, yes, they does; but these two looks more alike than most, don't they?"

"How many Men have you seen in your time?" Faramir asked.

"Lots of them, lots of them," said Gollum, "just these past few weeks. Before that, not many, not up close."

"I may say," said Boromir, "lest we think we are too unequal, when I first laid eyes on the Ringbearer and his companions, I thought them an indistinguishable mass of curly-headed little people, and could not have told them apart more than I could tell one leaf from another on a tree."

"But they looks nothing alike," said Gollum, a bit scandalized. "Certainly not Sam!" It made more sense to him now how the Men could take him for a hobbit.

Faramir was watching him very closely. Gollum squirmed. "He has more questions?" He had already started to think that he did not like talking to Faramir. More to the point, he did not like Faramir to talk to him.

"Naturally," said Faramir, casting a cynical eye over him. "But you have been asked many questions already, by myself and others. I suspect you are tiring of it."

"It depends, it depends on what they asks us. Don't get tired of talking with Boromir when he asks about the goblinses."

"No, I have heard you are always very willing to speak with him at length. But I judge you find my questioning less palatable. You may have a turn to ask questions of us, if you would like. You must have several. I am told that you know next to nothing of this city, or the ways of Gondor."

"We asks now?"

"If you wish. Ask whichever question you desire to. Boromir and I will not answer if it is inappropriate, but you will not be punished for asking. I have been given the understanding that you are unfamiliar with the ways of Men to the extent that you may, at any time, give offense you do not intend. I do not wish to punish you for anything that you are truly not at fault for."

Gollum considered this, running his tongue over his teeth. He suspected Faramir was offering this because he wanted to know what Gollum would want to ask about and if it was nasty. "What's Stewards do?" he asked in the end. "Boromir is in charge of the army. We knows what those are. But it may be secret," he corrected himself, "it may be secret and we may not be allowed to know it, we oughtn't ask about that. No."

"It is not secret. I assist the King," said Faramir. "In fact, it is well we have a chance to speak to one another, for it is likely that I may have to make decisions regarding you if needed, when the King is otherwise engaged."

"Decisionses?"

"Yes," said Faramir, "if something arises when the King is busy- as he often is- I may have to attend to it."

"He needn't worry," said Gollum, "Sméagol will not make any trouble, he won't cause any problems when the King's not home."

"I should hope you are not planning to cause problems. But there may be something you cannot help. You may fall ill, or you may have some need that must be seen to, something that those who are caring for you need help with."

Gollum eyed him. Yesterday he had woken up in a panic in the middle of the afternoon after having a nightmare, and been violently sick- which had very much upset his keepers- and now he naturally wondered if Faramir knew about this and intended a criticism. Of course Gollum could not help having nightmares or being ill, but he often felt as if he were punished for the things he could not help and got away with the nasty things he intended to do. 

In any case Gollum had better make a good impression. He looked over his hands- they were clean enough, he thought. "But it is his turn now," he said. "We will answer whatever he'd like. What would he like to ask us? Can't answer unless he asks, can we?" He wondered if Faramir expected him to bow and scrape as was befitting a Lord. Gollum had no qualms about doing any such thing, but he understood that he existed outside the ranks and status of the Men, and they didn't seem to expect him to acknowledge titles or manners- in fact he felt as if it would only confuse things if he did try to be 'proper', since he had no idea how to conduct himself. But did Faramir know all that?

"I must give an explanation, I think, before I can ask what I wish to ask you," Faramir said. "It is clear that you do not recognize me from our first meeting."

"No, I do not," Gollum confessed. "Eh, Men does look alike to us, and we- I- I do not remember things, always, from before, and when I do remember it is strange."

"Before what, Sméagol?"

"You knows," he said meaningfully. "Before."

"Before. I see. I was dressed differently when you saw me last, as well, and in different light, and you saw me only briefly. But I think you will remember when told. I was the leader of the company of Men who captured you in Ithilien, when you were found somewhere you ought not to be."

Gollum blinked, and must have looked confused, because Faramir clarified: "By the waterfall. You were fishing. Frodo called you to him, and when you followed my rangers took you. I think in your words, you would say that we 'jumped' you, Sméagol, and indeed, you did your best to repay us with violence, and you cursed Frodo's name."

Gollum fell to muttering and hissing to himself. He remembered this, although it felt like a bad dream- a very bad dream- or something he had watched someone else go through. Still- he did remember. "Yes, that. A nasty business... yes... nasty..."

"Nasty indeed," said Faramir.

"I was not expecting that. That's how we knows him, is it?"

"It is."

Gollum gnawed the inside of his cheek a moment, then asked: "What's Boromir's brother doing messing about by waterfalls?"

"You do not need to know the answer to that question, Sméagol," said Faramir. "I will not answer it. And, I have not yet reached my question, though you had granted me a turn- but I'll allow you to continue asking, to make the matter clear to you."

"Why was the Steward so far away if he's meant to be taking care of the King's city?"

"I was not yet the Steward then."

"Said we'd get killed if he caught us without the master," Gollum reminded himself. "He's not here."

"Yes. The King has since pronounced that you may walk freely as long as you do no harm and follow the same rules everyone else must abide by. His authority supersedes any directions I have given concerning you."

So Gollum was at Faramir's mercy but only so far as his choices didn't conflict with what Aragorn wanted, which was a bit like being a fish lying flapping on the ground instead of the fish torn open and half-eaten. "You asked us questions then, too."

Answer truthfully, if you can, Frodo had said. It will do you good, not harm.

"That is so," said Faramir. "I would have slain you before you ever saw me, but Frodo Baggins pled with me not to. He said he would bring you safely to my custody so that your life need not be spent. In fact, he offered to me that I shoot him as well, if he failed to bring you in alive, although I doubt he believed I was someone who would really take such an offer."

Gollum was quiet a minute, then he sobbed in his throat.

Faramir waited patiently for a moment while Gollum wept and muttered to himself, and went on: "As you may now remember, I distrusted you greatly. I tried to dissuade Frodo from traveling with you any farther, but he would not listen." He looked contemplative. "I wonder very much what would have happened if I had had my way."

Gollum fell to tugging at his too-short sleeves and fidgeting. "There wouldn't be any Sméagol anymore now," he said. "That's what would have happened, if he's wondering."

"Indeed you would be dead without Frodo's intervention," said Faramir. "But he did intervene, and you are alive. I did you no harm."

His thugs had nearly broken Gollum's neck, chucking him about like a wadded-up fishnet, but Frodo had made it clear that Gollum wasn't allowed to resent that.

"No harm," Gollum said, with an insincere lilt creeping into his voice that Frodo, had he been present, would have found familiar- and disappointing.

"You scorned me as unjust, when I told you your life was at stake," said Faramir. "And when I heard your words, I spared you. And now I have come to my question. Do you think better of me now, or have you found some other fault?"

Gollum didn't remember saying anything like that, and he also wasn't sure what he thought of Faramir. "Won't kill us now, either?"

"No," said Faramir. "I will not kill you now either. The King has said you are under his protection, and you will remain so unless you do something to warrant its being taken away. To my knowledge, you've 'done nothing', and if that knowledge is false I very much doubt that you are going to be the one to enlighten me of that fact."

Gollum let out a long, low, hissing breath.

"Is he Master's friend?" he asked finally.

"Frodo?" Faramir asked. "I hope he counts me as such. He claims so, but he is a beautifully tactful creature and I suspect it is difficult to meet him and not feel that he is a friend. For my part, I would do anything for him."

"Well," Gollum said helplessly, "I'll have to make nice with him too, then." O, Lady of Hunger, don't let us have to make nice with Elves, he thought desperately, but Shelob could not hear him and must not be powerful enough to grant such things, if Sam could stab Her and make Her run away, and also She was not very fond of Sméagol now.

"Are you praying?" Faramir asked.

"No," Gollum said quickly.

"I suppose that is your private business. In any case I am happy to 'make nice' with you, as you put it, Sméagol."

"Yes, yes," said Gollum, looking at the floor.

"You may ask a question now, if you'd like."

The question Gollum most wanted to ask as May Sméagol leave now and never talk to Faramir again? but he knew that would not go over well.

"Might Sméagol have some nice cold water?" he asked finally. When there was no immediate response from the Men, he went on to say: "It is a question," and then "We are thirsty," in case they thought he was joking. His mouth was incredibly dry.

"That is a small request," said Boromir.

"Yes, yes," Gollum said quickly, "it is no trouble, is it? Just a bit of water?"

"Very well," said Faramir. He glanced at Boromir, who got to his feet and grabbed his cane.

"He will go?" Gollum asked, with some surprise. Why not Faramir, who looked as if he was perfectly fit, with no injury to his leg?

Faramir glanced keenly at him. "Why not?"

In Gollum's experience, people did not like being reminded of their injuries or what they could not easily do. "Never mind it," he said, "it is no matter to us, the Men may do as they like."

Boromir left the room.

Faramir leaned forward. "Look at me."

Trembling, Gollum did so. Faramir's eyes were as pale as the Moon and as judgmental.

O yes. I remember him now, Gollum thought. He felt an urge to run out of the room at full speed. It was not self-control that kept him in his seat, but the sudden feeling that his limbs were paralyzed.

"What do you hope to gain from helping us?" Faramir asked.

"Nothing. Nothing. All I wanted is gone, gollum, and now I have nothing, nothing, I am lonely, poor Sméagol has no friends, and nothing to do with himself any longer." He shuddered- he had a feeling like a pinch at the back of his head. "And I am afraid of being cast out, if I can do nothing useful. Yes- I have been told I will not be cast out, but I do not trust promises. I do not trust any promises. Not from anyone, anymore, no, precious."

"I see," said Faramir, glancing over his body and laying his heart bare. "Not from Frodo?"

"He cannot keep me in the King's lands if the King doesn't wish it! Master is very good, but he is only a hobbit. He cannot do everything. If we are cast out, we will die. Can't manage it anymore. Gollum, gollum! No, I can't do it. I have no home to go to."

"Do you want to do any harm to Boromir?"

"No," said Gollum. "we don't, even though he made me come and talk to you, gollum- we doesn't want to hurt anybody anymore, doesn't want to make anyone sad, no one will believe us." With great reluctance he added: "I likes his brother."

"It may be said of you that your taste in companions is one of your strong points."

Gollum looked down and saw that he had started clutching the base of the finger he had used to wear the Precious on, and twisting it back and forth. He'd done that before, of course, but he didn't usually let anyone catch him doing it. He made himself stop.

Faramir continued speaking as if he had not noticed this, although he must have. "I have heard you are much stronger than you appear. Do you think yourself capable of killing someone my size and strength?"

"Yes," Gollum said, feeling as if the words were being pulled out of him. "If we got him on his own, yes, we could, if he didn't know I was there, and my hands got him in the dark. Gollum! I have managed it before. It is difficult for us, very difficult, and we did not try it unless we thought it was the only way to escape somewheres, or have food to eat, yes, or not be killed. Or if we were- if I was very, very angry."

Faramir said nothing.

"I don't get angry that way anymore," said Gollum. "No! I do not. I, I don't want to be angry like that again."

Faramir said nothing.

"Sméagol doesn't want to be like this," said Gollum. "I made a mistake. I made a mistake!"

"Do you hope to earn redemption through service?"

"No. Can't. Can't take it back," said Gollum. "Can't make it go away." He began to weep. "No hope. No hope. Maybe I can forget, if we are busy, very busy. That's all." I stayed with Her longer when I could have been done and gone on my way because I already wanted to forget, he thought. I wish I hadn't.

"You came very close to destroying yourself through foolishness and malice," said Faramir. "Very, very close. You have been largely cured of malice, that I judge; but I fear that resentment still poisons you."

Gollum trembled. Did he know about Her?

"I have heard all I need to," said Faramir. "I will not ask anything more of you. I will not hinder you from doing any services you offer to do. I believe your offers are honest- made from selfish reasons, in part, but not malicious ones. You may ask me what you wish, if indeed you still want to speak to me. I suspect you do not." Then he sat there saying nothing else, while Gollum whimpered and wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

Boromir returned with a cup of water. "What has happened in my absence?" he asked, blinking.

"I asked him a few simple questions," said Faramir. "He found them unpleasant, but I do not think them unfair."

"I do not think he could tolerate a complicated question," said Boromir.

"No, you are correct in that. I am done questioning him."

"Already? You were ever efficient!"

Boromir handed Gollum the cup of water. He drank half of it at once, and dipped his fingers into the remaining half, dabbing his cheeks and forehead with it. "Hot," he said.

"Do you wish to ask us any questions?" Boromir asked.

"Why does they live somewhere so hot?"

"It is where I was born and where my family has lived for generations. I love this place for its valiant people, and for its noble history- the climate is of no matter to me."

"Don't care about noble history. Hot," said Gollum.

"I have a proposal for you, Sméagol," said Faramir, glancing him over. "The King does wish to accept your offer to scout for us. I think trouble will come of it- not that you intend trouble, I am satisfied that you do not." Gollum had indeed been about to protest that he did not intend trouble. "But trouble has lived with you and in you for many long years, and will not easily depart whether you wish it or no."

"So Faramir is why they wouldn't let us go," said Gollum.

"In fact I am not. I follow the wishes of the King, even if I have misgivings. He has his reasons for wishing to let you do what you have offered, and I will trust him and obey. What has kept us from working with you are problems of strategy. We think you will have difficulty working alongside the men of Gondor. I believe what we should do first is allow you to explore an empty tunnel nearby, where the orcs have already been driven out- as practice. That will allow us to work out how to transport you and communicate with you. Will that be acceptable to you?"

"Yes," said Gollum, since there was one obvious correct answer to this question. Privately, he thought it was a waste of time. He thought he really just needed to be pointed towards the tunnel and sent off.

And he knows we thinks so, he thought, glancing furtively at Faramir's bright, searing eyes and looking away- but we will go along.

"Then I have said all I need to say to you," said Faramir. "If you have no further business with him, Boromir, he's welcome to return to his room. He might find it cooler."

"Yes, takes us back," Gollum cried.

"You said you knew the way on your own," said Faramir. "Would you prefer to go alone, rather than being escorted?"

Gollum hesitated a moment- he felt that he desperately wanted to be alone, but also that he did not want to be alone at all. He shook his head.

"No?" Faramir asked. "You will not go alone?"

It occurred to him that it would delay things to have someone found that would go with him and even the slightest fraction of a delay was intolerable. "No, we will go alone. Go ourselfs."

"In that case, you are dismissed."

Gollum nodded, and drank what was left in the cup of water- he held the empty cup out to Boromir. "Thanks him kindly," he said.

"You are welcome," said Boromir. "Thank you for your time."

"Sss," said Gollum in reply, as he did not care for how his time had been used- not that there was any better use for it at the moment. He gingerly lowered himself from the couch to the ground, and shambled into the hall without another look at the brothers.

Once out of the room, he paused to listen. The brothers were speaking to each other in low voices, but they used the other language that he heard at times in the city. Gollum had not had the opportunity or the desire to learn much of it, but he thought he had guessed the phrase hui úan to mean monster; he listened for this term now and did not hear it.

Gollum shuffled along before he could actually be seen in the act of eavesdropping.

Once he reached the stairs to his room, he hesitated. He was not fond of climbing them, actually, particularly since his back was sore at the moment. Climbing rocks or trees, a steep slope, or even a wall was a different matter from dragging himself up onto all of those jagged little platforms. There was no momentum to climbing stairs and he could not cling to stairs. Also, they reminded him of Cirith Ungol.

But the stairs were in his way and must be climbed.

At the top of the stairs a Man was sitting. There was usually one there, but Gollum was almost certain that it wasn't always the same person. He paused, wondering if it would be remarked on that Gollum was wandering about on his own. Surely, one of the guard's jobs was to prevent Gollum from doing just that. Although Aragorn had claimed that Gollum was allowed to wander if he liked. Perhaps he was about to find out if that was really true.

No remark came. He doesn't see us at all, does he, Gollum reflected. He was crawling on the floor, wearing brown clothing that blended in with the floor, and not making very much noise. He shouldn't be very noticeable under these conditions, but lately he'd lost faith in his abilities not to be seen.

He slipped past without advertising his presence.

He dragged himself into his room and shed most of his clothing. He picked up one of the discarded articles at random and ducked it into the pitcher of drinking water that had been left for him. Then he crawled under the bed with the wet cloth over his back. He was not tired enough to sleep, and it was too dark for that. He just lay there brooding on his encounter with Faramir, who he thought quite obviously hated him, and feeling sore, and vaguely missing the Ring, until there was a knock on the door.

"Yes, yes," Gollum called, but as his voice was small and issued from under the bed, it was apparently not heard, and the knock came again. "He needn't batter the door down, precious, we are coming!"

Gollum hauled himself across the room to open the door. He was half-expecting Faramir to have followed him, or to see Aragorn there, or even Gandalf, because it was shaping up to be one of those nights- but it was just one of the Men who looked after him, one of the ones whose name he'd never learned, bringing food.

After having such a wretched conversation with Faramir, Gollum was almost not hungry. Almost. "Yes, yes, thanks ye, put that on the table," he said distractedly, going to perch on the table, still with the wet cloth on his back- it had stuck to him.

This Man did not speak to him or watch him while he ate, but stood off by himself looking out the window as if he wished he could be somewhere else. Gollum had preferred this, at one time, to the others, such as the woman who messed with his clothes and asked about what he'd been doing and then helpfully told him if there was something on his face, but tonight he wished the woman had come instead.

He wondered if he'd be wishing the opposite if she had been the one to show up. Then he realized he did not know her name either. He sighed aloud- the sigh caught in his chest, and he coughed and gurgled. The Man did not react.

Gollum lingered over his food longer than he usually did, as he did not feel up to the effort of chewing it, even though it tasted good and he was hungry. He soon noticed that the Man was restless and impatient. Gollum was in no mood to hang around with someone who was merely tolerating him.

"I'm only half done," he said. "You can go if you wants, I don't need help, and someone else can take the plate."

The Man silently nodded, and he left. He did seem happy to get out of there.

Picking over the rest of his food, Gollum muttered to himself and wept and snarled. "He made us feel small and dirty, looking at us as if we was something on his shoe. We did nothing, didn't even want to talk to him!"

"But- he only asked questions."

"He asked such nasty questions."

"No. They were fair questions, but they had such nasty answers," he wept, "and they was my answers."

"But he doesn't need to remind us, it doesn't do us any good to kick us like that," and yet in a strange way Gollum almost felt as if the encounter had done him some good; he felt better, in the unpleasant way that throwing up sometimes made him feel better when he'd eaten something that made him sick.

"Don't want to talk to him again," he said, and on that he was in agreement with himself.

When he'd finished eating he sat there a minute, trying to be resentful, but having just had a good meal he had opposing feelings of drowsy contentment, and he ended up just feeling rather lonely. It occurred to him that that person who appeared to be guarding him was sitting out there in the hallway.

Suppose we sees what he's doing there instead of just wondering about it, he thought, rubbing his fingers together and frowning, and we'll also see if he can bear to look at us.

After considering this for a minute, he shuffled over to the wardrobe to check it for his hood and mantle. Surely, these items had been confiscated after he had proven that he would indeed use them to sneak around if they were available. He shouldn't even bother to check.

But they had not been confiscated. They had even been washed, and a tear in the fabric where he'd snagged it on a rock had been mended. Why? There could be no reason why they thought he needed a hooded garment to stay alive or comfortable, the time of year was too warm for that to be the case. Perhaps they thought that no one would want to wear anything that Gollum had worn so they may as well let him keep it, or perhaps they thought he was going to sneak about whether he had a hood or not and they may as well let him wear what he liked. But why go to the trouble of mending it? It was a nice job, too, done properly with thread and needle, and not tied up with makeshift catgut (or fishgut, or goblingut).

Gollum decided the most likely scenario was that someone had been told to take all of the dirty clothes that came from his room and wash them and mend them as necessary, and that person or another one had also been told to return the things once cleaned, and whoever was doing that job did not know Gollum or his habits and had no idea that it might be a bad idea to let him have anything that would help him go unseen. He also thought that all of the clothing items he'd been given were hand-me-downs from a Man-child who'd outgrown them, and he'd been given everything available from whoever that was, without anyone bothering to remove items he shouldn't have.

So that was that. It wasn't really so confusing after all. Now was the question of whether to put the hood on. He decided against this in the end- surely, the guard knew already what he was guarding, and there was no need for Gollum to make himself hot and uncomfortable on the off chance that it might make him a little bit more palatable. He settled for peeling away the damp wad of fabric from his back and tugging at his clothing until- well, maybe it looked presentable and maybe it didn't. He couldn't really tell such things. He could tell that the tunic he wore was loose in the sleeves and too tight in the shoulders, but there was nothing he could do about that.

He hesitated at the door. He hadn't gone out that way before without someone chaperoning. He might get in trouble. He had done enough things that could get him in trouble lately.

With a dissatisfied growl he finally steeled himself up to open the door. It was not locked. He was still a little bit reluctant to actually go over the threshold out into the hall. His reticence annoyed him, and he firmly told himself that Gandalf was not waiting out there to swoop in and set his britches on fire. He entered the hall with an awkward little hopping motion. Sure enough, nothing happened. And there was the Man at the end of the hall. Gollum crept towards him, and sat nearby, saying nothing. It was plain that he had not been noticed.

The guard wore an eyepatch, and a curved bit of wood stuck out the end of his left sleeve instead of a hand. It was hard to judge the ages of Men, particularly since 'old' meant something rather different to Gollum than it did to most people, but he had white hair. He was not a large Man, nor was he heavily built. He was playing

with dice by the light of a candle, looking quite at home, and quite unaware he was being watched.

Gollum looked around. For the umpteenth time he wondered if someone was playing a joke on him somehow; this Man could not have kept him from going anywhere he might have wanted to go. Gollum could have killed him on the spot without much trouble. Of course he would do no such thing, and it seemed as if Aragorn understood that Gollum did not want to cause trouble and was happy to treat others as well as they treated him, but nonetheless it seemed like a very strange decision to put someone he could physically overpower in charge of guarding his room when there were so many other choices available that he would be no match for. But looks could be deceiving- the old Man might have some hidden skill that would turn the tables in a fight.

When Gollum felt he had seen enough he tried to clear his throat- it came out as "Gollum, gollum!" followed by a lot of wet hacking coughs. This served its purpose, however, the Man turned.

"Why, good evening to you," he cried, in a loud voice, and Gollum wondered if he was a bit deaf, or was trying to alert someone, perhaps. "You must be Sméagol."

"Yes," Gollum said warily. He had been the only creature alive to know that name for a long, long time; just a few short weeks ago it would have been 'That creature' or 'that thing' or 'the sneak' or 'the gobbler with the flapping hands' or something like that. It made perfect sense that a guard appointed to watch his room would know his real name, but there was a little voice inside Gollum that still said This can't be happening, there's been some mistake when a stranger called him Sméagol (and then He knows too much, should we kill him?! which he quickly suppressed).

"I was beginning to wonder if I would ever see you," said the Man.

"He is here to keep us from going out, isn't he, eh? So if we never comes out of the room at all he's doing his job very well."

"Oho! A wit," said the Man. "I am Suilorion, son of Suilor."

A wit? Sméagol wasn't joking, thought Gollum. He wasn't sure whether to introduce himself or not, as Suilorion son of Suilor quite obviously knew his name already. Gollum could have introduced himself as 'Sméagol, son of Béagol' if he wanted to match the pattern the Men used, but he was unsure if that would have been counted proper among his own kind. His father had been exiled from the village and also dead long before Sméagol had been ejected, but he had never learned what the family rules were about naming oneself in connection with an exile after being exiled oneself. In fact to his memory a lot of people didn't really follow the rules- he would come across exiles in the other villages and they would still blithely claim all of their relatives. But in his position Gollum would have liked to follow the rules. He'd done something really horrible, after all.

They are all dead, he said uncertainly to himself, so they may not mind it. But it does not really matter because this Man wouldn't know my father and wouldn't care. Sméagol did not even know him, he died too early. He also was still not sure whether he had one of the family names the Shire-hobbits used- though he did know that if he did have one, it would definitely be frowned upon for him to use it.

"But as this is the first time I have seen you venture out of your room," said Suilorion, blithely unaware of Gollum's inner debate, "there must be some special reason for your doing it now! What may that reason be?"

"I have been passt you before," said Gollum, "or someone else that sits there, and I saw someone was there, and I didn't know him, so I just thought- well, then- I should see who it is, if someone is sitting by my room we should know who it is, precious, and now I have seen who it is, and it is you. Sssuloron, sssson of- Sssssulor, gollum."

"Aha," said Suilorion. "And for my part I am pleased to see the face of my charge." Are you really? Gollum wondered. "I have sat here many nights, though I am not here every night. You will have to come back tomorrow, to meet the other guard, if you would like to know who sits by your room! Ah- and as for being here to keep you from going out, I am not!"

"No?"

"No," said Suilorion. "If I see that you are venturing towards the stairs, my instructions are to ask you politely not to go out alone. And if you insist on going, I am to say: 'Very well, but the King must be notified that you have left', and then if you still go out alone I must notify him! But I am not to raise a hand against you or block you from leaving and for that I am glad, for my fighting days are over!"
"Ahh," said Gollum, "is that how it is, precious. We did wonder." It seemed as if it would have been rude to add I wondered because I can tell that you would not win a fight with me and Aragorn surely can tell that too because he's had to wrangle me and I gave him an awful time of it, so he didn't say anything of the sort.

But, he wondered, don't they think we're... dangerous? They should. We are dangerous, we can be, anyway. But then Gandalf is much more dangerous than Sméagol, and Gandalf has the run of the place.

"Now," said Suilorion, "since you know I will not stop you from leaving, will you in fact leave?"

"No. Don't want to go out. Just wanted to see who was here," said Gollum. "I'll go back, I suppose I will... we've seen him, now."

"You may go back if you would like," said Suilorion. "You're also welcome to stay."

"For a minute," Gollum said submissively. "If he doesn't mind it."

"I do not mind in the slightest." There was a box sitting next to Suilorion that he had left an empty plate on. He took the plate off of it and put it on the table. Gollum hopped up onto the box.

"Do you play dice?" Suilorion asked.

"No. No, I don't," said Gollum. He had, somehow or other, ended up trying to play dice with unsavory characters on a few occasions while he was trying to find out where Baggins was, after being offered to gamble for whatever that particular orc or bandit knew, and those games had gone poorly, and Gollum had ended up, somehow or other, strangling and eating his opponent, which had not only been nasty but also very inefficient of him because he would just be hungry again in a few hours and dead people didn't talk. He didn't want to be reminded of that just now. "But you may play if you'd like, we doesn't mind."

"Very well!" Suilorion tossed the dice, examined them, and made a note in a ledger he had at hand. "Which games do you play?"

"Hide and seek," Gollum said diffidently.

"Hide and seek?"

"Hide and seek with people who do not know we're there, and would not want us to find them." There was a brief pause. "Sméagol does not play games, no." Aside from riddles, which he had found, without exception, that the Men did not want to play at.

"I see!"

Gollum scratched at the underside of his chin. "So you just sits here in case I wanders out? Hour after hour, night after night, all by his lonely self, he sits, and we never come out at all?"

"Ah," said the Man, "I am also here to make sure no one disturbs you! I have been told to turn aside anyone who comes here out of curiosity to get a look at you. But there are plenty of visitors to you each night that are here on legitimate business, and they are friendly to me, so I am not very lonely."

"Peoples know who we are? Gollum!"

"Maybe, or maybe not. I do not gossip, and no one has come here looking for you, but I am told that being sought for would distress you so much that you must still be guarded to prevent it ever happening."

"We would not like that, no, not at all." Though he suspected that order was given for the good of Aragorn's subjects moreso than out of concern for Sméagol's tender nerves. He is right to worry, my precious, he thought, anyone who comes trying to poke at us will get something he'll remember. "Peoples in the city did not know what we had done," he said.

"I don't know what it is you did either," said Suilorion.

"It is a secret?"

"I was told that it was a complicated matter, and all I needed to know to do my job was that you'd done something important, and that I ought not to ask you what it was because the subject might be painful. That is very well with me, I do not care to know things that are not my business, and before tonight I had never even seen you so it was no matter to me at all."

"You knows there's a secret and you... don't wish to know what it is?"

"Not at all."

Gollum squinted at him. "Very well, that is his business," he said. "Eh, does he do anything else?"

"There is a certain halfling I am meant to keep away from you, in fact," said Suilorion. "Ah. In fact, I was instructed to tell you about it, if I saw you! I had nearly forgotten." He plainly had forgotten until Gollum reminded him. "Mithrandir himself told me, in person."

"Told him to keep away the older hobbit with the green cloak, was it?"

"Yes, that was it!" He did not ask why, and did not even seem curious.

If Bilbo really wanted to visit Gollum, which likely he would not, he would have no trouble at all getting by Suilorion unnoticed; Bilbo was as silent as a shadow and certainly clever enough to note that Suilorion was blind on one side, and stick to that side when passing him.

Gollum did not feel a need to say so. "Who is Mitherandir?" he asked softly, his tongue tripping over the syllables. The name seemed ominous to him. He thought he had heard it before but he was not sure when.

"Your people call him Gandalf, I have heard."

Of course it was Gandalf, Gollum thought, and he chewed on the rest for a minute before saying: "I have no people." He decided not to argue the point of whether or not he was a halfling. "I am not from the Shire. My family is all dead and gone, many long years, and before they was gone they told me they did not want me. Sméagol has no people. But he knows the name Gandalf. Did Gandalf say why Baggins can't come?"

"No," said Suilorion.

"Sss. That is no matter, no matter." There were many reasons why Gandalf would want Bilbo to be kept away, but Gollum was less certain of why Gandalf wanted him to know about the order. Particularly since Bilbo had been shockingly helpful and friendly to him on their last meeting. So much so that Gollum almost wondered if he was being kept away as a sort of a punishment.

But Baggins would not want to come here to begin with, would he? He has said all he wanted to say to us. Ach! Wizards.

Gollum's gaze fell on Suilorion's missing hand, and he looked away. The Man probably did not want to discuss it or have it stared at. Gollum found it difficult to ignore, though he wanted to ignore it- the sight of it reminded him of a time when he had feared he'd lose his own hands to infection- half feared, half hoped, because he'd starve to death without his hands but also if they fell off they wouldn't hurt anymore.

"Are you wondering about this?" Suilorion asked, raising the prosthetic.

"Yes, a bit," said Gollum, "but it is none of our business, and he needn't tell us if he doesn't wish to. I can't help wondering, but I don't need to ask if it's none of my business."

"I do not mind. It's a battle wound."

"Fighting orcses, was he?"

"Indeed! That was long ago, now."

"If it was a battle, then, that was unlucky, but he is lucky it wasn't worse, too, eh? Much worse." Gollum had seen what battlefields looked like after the excitement was over. Or 'buffet fields', as he used to consider them. He frowned and ducked his head, as if to hide from Suilorion's gaze. Suilorion seemed unconcerned.

"Indeed," said Suilorion. "That was the first and last battle I had the chance to fight under the leadership of Lord Boromir. He was a young man then, but valiant!"

"He is still valiant, or so we hears," said Gollum, "I hasn't seen him fight anyone, yet, and I hope I will not, no! But I hears things. And to me he still looks young."

"He is younger than I am," said Suilorion.

"And you are younger than I am."

"Aha! That may not be so. I am not young at all!"

Gollum glanced at him and said nothing.

Footsteps approached. Gollum sat up straight. A youngish person appeared with a pitcher of water. He saw Gollum and looked startled.

"This is Ssui- Sui- the man who sits here," said Gollum, "he said we might sit with him, but we can go back now, if they would like us to. Yes, Sméagol will go to his room and have a drink of water, beautiful fresh water, nice water." He scrambled back towards his room before anything could be said about it, and once there had a bit of trouble opening the door-

I have gone and locked Sméagol out of it! he thought numbly. Whyever did they put me in a room I can lock?

-but it was not locked, he was only pulling on the door when he ought to be pushing on it, probably because he had only ever opened it from the inside before. He got the door open and escaped inside. At once he wanted to hide, but he shouldn't- it would look awfully strange for him to hide, as he was doing nothing wrong by being in his own room. He sat in the middle of the floor and looked pathetic.

The boy with the pitcher entered, looking cautious. "I'm surprised to see you were out," he said.

Gollum stammered and babbled for a minute and said: "Sméagol is sorry."

"I don't think you need to apologize. I know of no reason why you cannot go and speak with Suilorion."

"Is that so," said Gollum. "Usually, when we surprise people by doing something it means they did not like it, not at all."

"No, I was only surprised. You haven't finished your last round of drinking water, and that surprises me too."

"We was busy. Sméagol is thirsty," he said to himself. "We will drink both if he leaves them."

"Very well," said the boy, walking around Gollum- who was still just sitting there in the middle of the floor- to set the pitcher on the table. "There is a plate here."

"Last person left it. Told him someone else would take it and he could go. He was busy. Didn't want to wait."

"I'll take it, then. You do not seem quite yourself today, Sméagol."

"Don't I? I have had many selfs, and they are not good company, and I am not sure I likes any of them at all."

"Oh," said the boy. "Do you feel well?"

"No."

"Should I get a healer?"

"No, it is not that kind of sick," said Gollum. "Sméagol isn't sick. He doesn't want a doctor. Just don't bother about us."

"I see," said the boy. "Ought I to go?"

"You may go or stay, it is no matter to us," said Gollum, who privately thought he'd like company but knew he wouldn't be able to think of anything to say that wasn't more inane babble.

"I have duties elsewhere, so I shall go."

"Goodbye."

As the boy started to walk out the door Gollum called, in a quavering voice, "What's his name?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"What is your name, please, eh? If you, if you doesn't mind?"

"I am terribly sorry if I failed to introduce myself."

"You did, maybe. Sméagol may have forgot your name."

"I am Maeron."

"Your name is what?" Gollum shrieked.

"Maeron," the youth said, slowly stepping away. "It means 'poet'."

"Ach," said Gollum, "Yes yes! That is what it means." He'd never heard the name before, and didn't know why it had sounded familiar for a second.

"Does your name mean anything?"

"Yes," said Gollum. "Burrower. Creeper. Sneak!"

"I see. Goodbye to you."

"Goodbye."

The young Man left and Gollum crawled under the bed.

Click the arrow to see artwork for this chapter.

Back to Home | Back to Table of Contents | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter